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Posted by Urtheart, Mar.19, 2011, under Articles, Competitions, Recommendations, Comments (0)

So T.A. Black did something a bit different, and yet still awesome. T.A. was the first to get his entry in (VERY early) but gave us huge entertainment with his novel, and yes I am happy to call it that because it is massive! Yet you'll be riveted all the way. Since it is not a comic all you have to do is hit the jump button to read the entire thing. Hopefully you'll enjoy your booty bewby prize! An Unfortunate Night Out Chapter One – The Night of the Partner Central Plateau – a place that co-exists in-between the worlds of reality and fiction; one where imagination is the limit and creativity is key. It is the residence of a variety of unique characters, ranging from the eccentric but highly skilled Terry Black (also known as T.A Black) to the cunning and meticulous Richard Xanatos. Many other people reside or visit this realm, including a faction of The Organization (a group of beings known as Nobodies who lack hearts) and one or two visitors from Entherial, an outpost for fighters run by a being known as Angelus. Tonight, it was the turn of two occasional visitors from that outpost to visit the Plateau on the way back to their home; the Emerald Coast. One of the duo; a black and blue furred demon with the appearance of a hedgehog, exclaimed in anger at his companion, an ivory furred jackal with Egyptian-style highlighted eyes and paws. “I told you before; you should’ve sorted it out before we left” “But I’ve gotta pee!” the jackal whined in desperation, seemingly dancing as he moved “Right now!” “Ahkmin, you knew full well that tying up Blake and Sofia and using them as window decorations would get you kicked out of Entherial” the demon explained, anger rising in his voice “And then, munching on Hawk’s head after mistaking her hairband as a snack didn’t exactly put you in everyone’s good books. And the less said about you using chocolate, a hacksaw and a CD to do that to Angelus, the better” “But Urth…I’m bursting! I wanna go now!” Ahkmin moaned, his child-like demeanour betraying the fact that he was remarkably dense (as Vger would put it, after once too many Wrench hits over the head) “Well, go round the back of a building then” Urtheart sighed, his patience wearing very thin after the day’s events. “Please, Urthy – I’m no animal” Ahkmin replied, looking sternly in Urtheart’s eyes. “Of course you’re…not…” Urtheart started to say, before he noticed Ahkmin casually gnawing at his arm to get rid of a few excess fleas “Why do I even bother?” “Cause I’m cute and adorable?” Ahkmin said in a flattering tone, fluttering his eyes as he spoke “No – I think it’s more the fact Vger now directs all his Port-related outbursts at you now rather than me. Anyway, I thought you wanted to go to the bathroom” “Oh, yeah!” Ahkmin realised, before performing his unique jig again “Look – there’s a pub over there. Why not go there and see if they have any toilets?” Urtheart said, pointing his golden gauntleted hand over to a nearby pub occupied by Moogles and Koopa Troopers. Ahkmin scurried off, leaving Urtheart alone to wander the streets towards the Main Plateau (the central hub of Central Plateau). “Man, what a day…” Urtheart sighed “Not only do I have to drag old fur-and-fangs away from certain doom, but now we have to find some form of transport back home after…Well, best not dwell on that again. Wonder if I can borrow that TARDIS of T.A’s for a bit, or maybe a hop through the Darkness portals from the Organization…” He stopped thinking aloud, before he took a closer look at the people around him. Everywhere he looked, he saw couples walking to and from buildings, two by two. What looked like party streamers and stalls lay out in front of him, heart shaped balloons and sweets adorning them as far as the eye can see. “Oh no…Please, tell me it’s not today…” Urtheart muttered “Hey there, Mr Hedgehog” a cute, cream coloured rabbit said “Do you have a partner for the Valentine Party tonight?” “A partner?” Urtheart scoffed “I’m a Heartless demon, a being that is ageless and never one to attach emotions to one being. I do not hold any regard for this event at all and I intend to leave. Good-” “Hey – a party!” Ahkimn exclaimed, suddenly reappearing by Urtheart’s side “How did you get back here so quickly?” Urtheart asked “And…Is that a Moogle on your tail?” “Long story short, I got bored” Ahkmin replied cheerily “So, what’s this party then?” “Um…Well, it’s a Valentine’s Party” Cream said, handing him a leaflet “It’s for couples to get together and enjoy the night” “Couples?” Ahkmin repeated “That sounds awesome! We need more time together, Urth!” “Not on your life” Urtheart replied, crossing his arms in annoyance “There is no way you’re dragging me into this idiotic celebration of random infatuations” “Too late – I already got us tickets!” Ahkmin said cheerily, a bemused Cream looking at the two in a confused state “But…Aren’t you two boys?” Cream queried “Don’t worry – we’ll find other people in there” Urtheart cut in to prevent Ahkmin explaining the true reason why he got tickets for the Valentine’s Party. And with that, he dragged the jackal away before he could cause any more damage (both mental and physical). “What an odd person…” Cream muttered to herself “Hope he enjoys himself tonight” Chapter Two – Sushi, With A Side Order of Pain “I am really, really not enjoying myself…” Urtheart moaned, Ahkmin latched onto his arm as they wandered the streets of the Plateau. Many people looked at the duo in an odd way, a few people whispering to their significant others, others just moving off to the other side of the fair. “Aw, come on Urthy – it’d be fun!” Ahkmin said cheerily, before his attention was drawn to a large flashing sign at a nearby window. Instantly, the jackal leapt towards it to take a closer look, Urtheart being literally dragged behind him “What…” Urtheart spat, trying to get the mixture of dirt and sawdust out of his mouth “What did you see?” “Discounted food at this Japanese restaurant!” Ahkmin said cheerily “1% off for every couple that comes in tonight!” “Isn’t that a bit-” Urtheart started to say, before being dragged into the restaurant by the over excitable male “Ah, good evening Mr and Miss…” the Maître D of the restaurant started to say before spotting the two very odd characters “Um…Mr and Mr…How can I help you?” “Can I possibly have the special offer you have on tonight?” Ahkmin said, his eyes shining at the large bowls of ramen passing through the restaurant “Is this your…?” the Maître D said, unsure how to phrase what he thought “Associate” Urtheart replied glumly, not wanting anything to do with Ahkmin’s crazy plan “Ah, of course” the man smiled “Well, we’ve got an offer on Sashimi and Sushi tonight, if you don’t mind serving yourself on our conveyor system” “That’ll be fine” Urtheart said. Having learned a variety of skills in his very long life, he found that eating raw fish wasn’t too bad, particularly after a few failed attempts of cooking by those he knew from years gone by. He stroke over to the conveyor belt the restaurant had, various plates of sushi rolls and other delicacies slowly moving round as people picked and chose what they wanted. Taking a seat near a large aquarium (complete with Bloopers and Feebas), he surveyed the menu to see what was on offer. “Fish?” Ahkmin exclaimed “When are they gonna bring out the beef?” “My little, highly annoying, friend” Urtheart explained “Sushi and Sashimi is fish. More often that not, raw fish. Though with a variety of sauces and-” “Urgh!” Ahkmin recoiled “What do I look like – a Sphinx?” “You’d be a damn sight more useful…” Urtheart muttered under his breath, grabbing some California Rolls from the belt. As he ate his meal, he took a chance to see who else was in the restaurant. On one far off table, a teenage female with short blue hair was conversing with a slightly older male with light grey hair. The girl was fairly self conscious, obviously feeling awkward in the situation and in her outfit (a dark blue dress with various detective trinkets hanging off the shoulder straps). On another table, he could see a woman in her mid-to-late 20s with long blond hair getting bored by the adventures and tales of an older man with bad stubble, a scruffy mullet and a black bandana. And finally, on another side of the restaurant, he saw a girl in her late teens wearing a pink cap and a smart white jacket over a dark green dress. She was conversing with a man in his early twenties, light blue eyes standing out from his scruffy brown hair, green goggles neatly resting on top of it. A green shirt and black jeans set off the ensemble, leaving Urtheart with a very niggling feeling “Is that…No, it couldn’t be…” Urtheart said, shaking his head dismissively. “Anyway, how are-” he turned to try and find Ahkmin, only to see the jackal had mysteriously disappeared “Okay, where the hell are you?” “Weeeeeeeeee!” Ahkmin said with glee, as he slowly made his way around the conveyor belt, his chest fur stuck in the plates of the belt. Knocking over plates and customers, he didn’t know how much trouble he was in, until Urtheart literally ripped him off the belt, leaving a tuft of fur stuck in the belt “You really are an ignoramus and a conclusive fool!” Urtheart spat “Aw…I didn’t know you cared!” Ahkmin said in an affectionate tone. Urtheart took the warning signs, knowing them full well from his many times in encountering Ahkmin. Then, like a ninja, he fell to the floor as Ahkmin leapt forward to glomp the demon. However, all he caught was the man in the green shirt, obviously annoyed by the sudden appearance of an animal gnawing at his face “Ema…There seems to be a dog on my head…” the man said through gritted teeth “I see that” his date replied, taking the strange event in her stride. Rummaging around in her small bag, she pulled out a fingerprint duster and proceeded to tickle Ahkmin’s nose. He sniggered and snorted, before unleashing an almighty sneeze, sending him off the head of his captured prize and into the kitchens of the restaurant. “There we go Nixie – All sorted out” “Thanks” the man replied, gingerly touching where the fangs had dully bruised his cheeks “Now, how do we…” he stopped speaking as he saw Urtheart on the floor, their two eyes meeting “Evening, XVII” Urtheart smiled “Must say, this is the last place I’d expect to see a Nobody, let alone Nixa – The Random Genius” “Likewise a heartless demon” Nixa replied. “So, what are The Organization gonna say about this?” Urtheart smirked, trying to resist rubbing in the obvious oxymoron of a situation “A being with no emotions on a romantic liaison? Must say, that is odd” “Oh, they know he’s on a date” Ema Skye replied “Well, his branch do, anyway” “They have branches now? What are they – a bank?” “Myself, the rest of the Neos and a few others relocated here for recon reasons” Nixa explained “Which is precisely why I’m here. I’m gathering intel on a potential situation that might appear soon” “That” Ema cut in “And he felt so sorry for me being all alone today. I mean, all I did was explain my situation and he went out and asked me out” “Bloody…empathy…” Nixa cursed, though Urtheart noticed that the usually stotic Nobody was somewhat flustered However, their conversation was cut short as a flying ivory-coloured blur sped past them and out of the restaurant, a disgruntled man standing by the kitchen door “And stay out, ya mutt!” he yelled at the stunned Ahkmin, a large piece of steak caught in his jaws “I wonder if I can just disappear like you lot…” Urtheart sighed, not wanting to see what other horrors lay in front of him before the night was over Chapter Three – The Luck of the Fair “Man - that was fun!” Ahkmin said cheerily “Can we do it again?” “No” Urtheart replied flatly “You’ve been barred permanently” “What – why?” “Oh, I don’t know…Nomming on the heads of clientele is quite a bad thing to do. That and destroying a kitchen had something to do with it as well” “Oh yeah…” Ahkmin remembered “Can we do it again?” “Give me strength…” Urtheart growled to himself as he wandered through the fair with Ahkmin. As the two sauntered through the stalls, the jackal’s eyes lit up at the variety of games and treats on offer. “Ooh!” he said with excitement “Can I have a go on the games?” “Knock yourself out” Urtheart replied “Yay!” Ahkmin said excitedly, scurrying away to play the variety of stuff on offer “Now I might perhaps get some peace” Urtheart muttered to himself, strolling round the stores and stalls and getting as far away from Ahkmin as possible. “Hey mate” an Australian accented voice called out towards the demon “Fancy a go at the Sniper’s Shot to win a cuddly toy?” “Sniper’s Shot?” Urtheart queried the man dressed in reds, a large bow and shield strapped to his back “It’s as simple as koala baiting” the Sniper said cheerfully to Urtheart. “Just pick up the rifle and simply shoot the targets down. I must warn you, it’s quite a tricky challenge. The way those targets move, you’ll have to be incredibly talented to hit them all. Only one or two people have managed to-” “Done” Urtheart interrupted, a smoking rifle held in his hands; all the targets in the game knocked down or otherwise destroyed “B-But...” the Sniper stammered as Urtheart grabbed one of the giant plushies of what looked like a white robotic sentry gun, a red eye staring out if it like HAL or GLaDOS. He slowly wandered round the other stalls, keeping an eye out for any sudden blurs of ivory fur ready to attach itself to his face. As he did so, he saw a couple walk towards him that he knew only too well – one holding a variety of plush toys and chocolates, another holding an assortment of other trinkets and a look of frustration on his face “Oh, not you again…” Nixa sighed in annoyance “Likewise” Urtheart smirked “I don’t think you properly introduced me to your ‘acquaintance’.” “I’m Ema Skye” Ema replied, trying to extend a hand by juggling around the Pokemon dolls and chocolate rings Nixa had got for her. Failing to free any hand, she stuck out an elbow for Urtheart to shake. “I’m one of the top detectives in the CPPD [Central Plateau Police Department] – forensics division. I’ve known Nixa ever since my first case – you know, the one with the stolen statuette” “Yeah, I remember” Nixa replied “We bumped into each other during a chase – I think I’ve still got the bruise somewhere…” Ema giggled, remembering the day as if it was yesterday “But yeah – we kept in touch afterwards. He and the Organization help us out on cases, I help him adjust to life here and other small things” Ema continued “He also plays a perfect subject for my forensic skills – I know now how to identify supernatural entities using luminol, honey and a plaster” “Interesting” Urtheart said “So you can indentify where I’ve been then?” “Not only that, but also what you had for lunch too” Ema smiled “That’s a little odder, I must admit…” Urtheart muttered “Yeah, but she’s quite awesome too, right?” Nixa smiled “…How I’ll understand your empathy and your weird mixed up mind, I’ll never know” Urtheart said. However, before he could say anything else, a loud cry could be heard from across the fair “You eat Sandvich!” a loud and angry Russian voice bellowed “Now you must taste Sasha!” A loud barrage of gunfire echoed around the complex, tearing apart some of the stalls as a jackal sprinted towards Urtheart and the others “Urthy!” Ahkmin exclaimed, leaping towards the demon with arms (and mouth) outstretched. With swift defensive reflexes, Urtheart grabbed Nixa and thrust him forwards, causing the jackal to latch onto the Nobody’s head rather than Urtheart’s “This is really hurting me…” Nixa said in a frustrated tone “Is this a regular thing?” Ema asked Urtheart “Only when he’s around” Urtheart said bitterly “First rule when facing Heavy Weapons Guy’s Sandvich!” the large Heavy yelled, his mini-gun spinning furiously in his hands “Don’t eat Heavy Weapons Guy’s Sandvich!” “It was dry, anyway” Ahkmin replied “Please don’t speak whilst latched onto my face” Nixa muttered, before pulling off the jackal and throwing it at the hulking Heavy. Ahkmin then decided to do what hew did best – latch himself onto the Heavy’s bald head The large fighter yelled in pain as the jackal chewed on his head, running around in a blind panic. “So…What do we do now?” Nixa asked “You? I have no idea” Urtheart said, walking away as the fight slowly destroyed the other stalls around him “But I’m gonna catch a movie” He slowly sauntered off, leaving the couple to try and sort out the madness that was occurring around them Chapter Four – Movie Madness Urtheart wandered over towards the Plateau’s Multiplex Theatre, many couples entering and leaving arm in arm, each one discussing a different film they saw. Urtheart sighed in annoyance as the youthful people filtered around him, obviously not wanting to get caught up in their night of celebration. “One ticket please” Urtheart walked up towards the ticket office “To what?” the vendor asked “Whatever is the least populated film with the least amount of convincing love in it” Urtheart replied “Ah, that’ll be Twilight then” the vendor answered “Figures…” Urtheart muttered, reluctantly grabbing the ticket and making his way to the theatre where they were showing the film. He slunk into the back rows of the theatre, noticing a lack of couples within the theatre to his immense relief. What he did notice down at the front of the theatre was a man in a work-suit accompanied by two robots; one looking like a bird and one looking like a bubblegum dispenser. As the movie progressed, the theatre was filled with voices yelling out random words in-between lines “Nobody’s going to believe you” a pale-faced male actor said to the female lead, conveying as much emotion as a Nobody “Quoting directly from the Abusive Guy’s Handbook” one of the trio mocked, causing laughter to echo around the auditorium. As the (equally emotionless) actress struggled for a response within the film, a second voice form the trip piped up “Line!” he yelled as she struggled for words, mocking the stage call for a specific line “Line! Line!” This too caused great laughter around the audience “I love Urthy!” a male voice yelled out during the wise-cracking, causing the audience to stop laughing almost instantly “…Who’s Urthy?” one of the audience members asked “Is he the vampire?” “Nah – that’s Whiny-Ass McBritches” another one replied. As the audience debated who this ‘Urthy’ person was, Urtheart slowly turned to his left to see a smiling jackal waving at him happily “You…” Urtheart scowled “How the hell did you get in here?” “Easy!” Ahkmin replied “Through the doors!” He pointed at the wrecked doors at the other side of the auditorium, the Heavy from earlier now passed out and half way through them, along with an assortment of tents, Chao, bunting and an annoyed Miles Edgeworth behind him, smoke slowly filtering into the theatre. “You destroyed a movie theatre hallway just to sit next to me?!” Urtheart yelled in an exasperated voice “Isn’t that the true motivation of-” “Don’t!” Urtheart said loudly “Don’t you dare!” “Of l-” “LALALALALALALA!” Urtheart chimed loudly, his fingers in his ears. He looked up to see Ahkmin sitting with a sullen look on his face. Urtheart slowly took his fingers out of his ears, hoping the disaster was averted “Love” Ahkimn said with a smirk. The next thing Ahkmin knew was a furious Urtheart swinging him around his head, causing widespread panic within the theatre “Well finally – something better than this film!” the last of the trio of riffers exclaimed “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Ahkmin yelled gleefully, before Urtheart threw him like a hammer; straight through the movie screen “Wow – that feels better already” Urtheart smiled -- Meanwhile, outside the theatre, a very annoyed Nixa and Ema stood facing each other, dust covering their outfits “I never would’ve thought a furball would cause so much havoc…” Nixa muttered “Took us ages to round up those Cuckoos” “I know – Still, allowed me to use my forensic skills to accurately put the blame on every piece of broken item” Ema replied “Yeah, I guess so” Nixa smiled “Um…Sorry for the ‘different’ evening” “It’s no bother, Nixie” Ema smiled “It was a lot of fun – even if we got assaulted by a jackal at all times” “Believe me, the next time I see him, he’ll be sorry” “I believe you” Ema nodded, before taking Nixa’s hand and stepping closer towards him “W-What are you doing?” Nixa stuttered as the female got closer “Just what couple do” Ema replied, before closing her eyes and moving her head closer towards Nixa. Nixa took the hint and he too closed his eyes, moving his head closer towards Ema’s for a kiss. “BANZAIIIII!” a loud voice yelled, before Ahkmin came flying towards the couple, before latching himself on top of Ema’s face. Nixa didn’t notice, and continued to move forward until he gave a peck on Ahkmin’s tail. The Nobody then opened his eyes in shock, in disbelief at what happened “Hey! If I wanted a butt kisser, I’ll go into business” Ahkmin said irately to Nixa, Ema flailing her arms around “Y…YOU!” Nixa roared in anger, darkness swirling around him ominously. Then, in a flash of black light, he stood tall in his Organization uniform, the mighty broadsword Fenrir held in his hands “Eep” Ahkmin said as Urtheart appeared out of the (now slightly ruined) theatre “What’s going on?” Urtheart asked as Ema finally got the jackal off of her face “He…” Nixa said in a feral tone “He ruined my date. He destroyed any chance of calm and serenity and now he’ll be used to make gut strings for violins and…” He stopped his fury as he saw a cross Ema looking at him “And…Oh, I can’t do it” “Empathy?” “Yeah…Don’t want to let her get annoyed with me” Nixa sighed “Um…Sorry, Ema” “That’s okay Nixie” Ema smiled, walking towards the Nobody “I don’t blame you for what happened tonight” She held his hands tightly, causing the Nobody to smile “T-Thanks” Nixa stuttered, blushing as he did so “HIM, on the other hand…” Ema said, her voice now going into a rage. She grabbed Fenrir from Nixa’s hands, and started to attack Ahkmin without any regards for her safety. “Wow…” Nixa said in awe as the girl wailed on the jackal with extreme ferocity “Nixa, one word of advice” Urtheart said to the Nobody “Never, and I mean NEVER, get rid of that girl.” He ducked as a chunk of fur flew towards him “Seriously – you two are perfect together” “And as for you?” Nixa asked. But his answer was given instantly as the jackal latched himself onto Urtheart’s face, drool going down the side of Urtheart’s cheek “Um…Hi?” Ahkmin mumbled, the fire and ferocity of Urtheart’s rage clearly visible in his eyes… Chapter Five – Conclusions “What is it this time?” a groggy Vger muttered, a pair of Mina the Mongoose-branded slippers on his feet. The self proclaimed leader of the Emerald Coast (a small atoll situated between Station Square and Dr Light’s Lab Complex), Vger was in charge of any activity both on the Coast and with their citizens. Which basically meant that whatever actions Urtheart and Ahkmin got themselves into, he had to pay the price. He opened the door to meet the eyes of two figures – one a six-foot tall dog in a blue sit and matching hat, the other a three-foot tall hyperkinetic rabbit…thing. “Excuse me, sir” the dog said “Are you Mr. Vger of Emerald Coast?” “I prefer the term Emperor Vger, but yes I am…Who are you?” “I’m Sam and this is Max; CPPD” the dog introduced “We’re here to deposit some items of yours” “Aww…” Max said in a disappointed tone “I thought we were gonna use their entrails to decorate our office at Christmas time?” “You crack me up, little buddy” Sam smiled, patting his partner on the head “What items?” Vger asked “I’m not due another shipment of Port, Wrenches, Wrench-flavoured Port or Port-flavoured Wrenches for at least 2 hours” “These” Max said, pulling towards him two figures – one a sleeping Urtheart, the other an unconscious, shaved and battered Ahkmin “These two have caused untold damages in the Central Plateau” Sam explained “They completely destroyed three separate areas, caused a huge ream of damages and stole a Sandwich” “Sandvich, Sam” Max replied “Completely different food product - I managed to win one at a game of Poker the other night” “Oh really – what’s the difference?” “A ‘v’” Max replied “Excuse me” Vger said “These two did what, exactly?” “Destroyed one theatre complex” Sam explained “wrecked multiple fair stalls, ruined one sushi conveyor belt-” “Wait a minute” Vger cut in “These two did all that within an hour?” “You should’ve seen them!” Max said gleefully “They destroyed more stuff than a bull being led through 15 Fine China Shops!” “Will you issue them with their fines?” Sam asked, handing Vger a slip of paper “T-Ten thousand Plateauvian Dollars?!” Vger exclaimed “That’s more than eighty-thousand rings!” “Have a nice day, sir” Sam nodded “Come along Max – I hear there’s a load of double parked cars over on Rainbow Road” “Oh goodie!” Max smiled as the duo left “I do love it when we can shunt them off the road into the oblivion below it!” “B…But…” Vger stammered, before looking at his ‘delivery’ from the police. With a large scowl across his face, he grabbed a bucket and promptly filled it with ice cold water. Then in one swift movement, he dumped the water over Urtheart “BEWBS!” Urtheart exclaimed in shock as he regained consciousness “Nice to see your brain hasn’t been damaged…” Vger said “Uhgh…” Urtheart rubbed his head gingerly “The last thing I remembered was seeing the assorted hoards of Zidane Tribal and his team, the Elite Beat Agents and so, so many Links…” “Well, be thankful you didn’t destroy the entire Plateau” Vger said in annoyance “You and Mr Glomps-A-Lot owe me a hundred-thousand rings to cover damages done by you lot today, as well as general upkeep fees” “Since when did we pay rent?” “Since you decided to declare international war with one of our neighbours” Vger moaned “I swear, this doesn’t happen to normal people” “And what about him?” Urtheart said, pointing at Ahkmin “He’s the one that started all this ‘date’ nonsense” “Date?” Vger asked “Since when were you two on a date?” “Long story…” Urtheart sighed, kicking the sleeping body of Ahkmin “All I can really say is Ahkmin is only interested in one thing-” “LOOOOOVE!” Ahkmin suddenly exclaimed, leaping up from his back and latching himself onto Urtheart’s face again. Suffice to say, the following actions caused by his sudden glomping caused yet more destruction and devastation. The only eligible words that could be heard in the midst of all this chaos was Vger; his statement causing even more destruction “…Make the two hundred-thousand rings…” End

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